TECH BILLIONAIRE BACKS ENHANCED GAMES: CHEATERS UNITE!
Using performance-enhancing drugs to cheat is never cool… but what if everyone was doing it? Well, that may be a step closer to becoming a reality now that tech billionaire Peter Thiel is throwing some money behind the Enhanced Games.
The premise is simple: You know all those athletes in trouble with the International Olympic Committee for doping? Yeah, give us those guys. Imagine it… the greatest cheaters on the planet assembling to put on an athletic performance the likes of which we’ve never seen.
According to The New York Post, the idea for the Enhanced Games came from Dr. Aron D’Souza. The thought is that the games could serve as a way to study the effects of nutritional supplements and biohacking.
D’Souza will reportedly lay out further plans for the event in April and will be in Paris during the 2024 Summer Olympics, something I’m sure the IOC will be thrilled about. However, he’s not the only investor backing the event and has some other billionaires throwing some cash behind it.
Additionally, he says athletes would be encouraged to use whatever they want “out in the open and honestly.” Got steroids? The Enhanced Games would have plenty of them.
Look, I know this idea isn’t exactly “ethical.” It’s not something we should have kids “aspiring to be part of.” It’s not “healthy.” But, dammit, if we wouldn’t all be tuning in to whatever streaming service this lands on (my bet is the Roku Channel, they’ll show anything) for every event.
Think about how much fun the nation — no, the world — had watching Sammy Soas, Mark McGwire, and Barry Bonds chase home run records with an assist from the juice. We’re not proud of it now, but it was fun.
The one thing I don’t like about the Enhanced Games is that they sound purpose-built for Russia to dominate. Russia dopes harder than anyone, so a competition where doping is encouraged? Look out rest of the world.
As of now, there’s no word on when or where the Games Of The First Dope-Limpiad (the Enhanced Games is welcome to use that) will take place. However, once we know, it will certainly draw its fair share of attention.
